faux real

2010-07-05T22:35:00.003-04:00

If you know me you probably know this, but the new blog is here: yeswekhan.wordpress.com...and this one is toast, probably. I'm glad to have enriched the lives of so many dingalings who misspelled "bachelorette" on Google.

For real.

2010-03-17T21:50:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I get emails from people who don't even know me. It might be a guy in Africa offering me free money if I pay him money first, or someone selling something. If this happens to you too, read on for some useful tips and tricks to figure out when someone emailing you is NOT your friend. I call these people 'fakesters,' as in people who like to fake. (It's like other Internet terms like

Watch these

2010-02-06T18:07:00.004-05:00

This is long overdue. Let me walk you through the fascinating chronology of events:1) Novemberish 2009 - January 2010: View several Andy Sidaris movies, starting with Hard Ticket to Hawaii.2) December 2009 - Get a sweet Flip video camera for Christmas.3) This is a weird chronology since (2) happens in the middle of (1).4) January: Use Flip cam to tape choice scenes in a couple Sidaris films,

My World in Pictures

2009-12-22T21:38:00.005-05:00

I want to share these two things.First, I probably shouldn't spill the beans on this what with the potential effects on betting lines, but I had a vision that could bring me great riches. It came to me on a city bus:So clearly I'm going to put all my money on the Philadelphia Eagles to win the 10-foot Super Bowl. Cha-ching! Except I haven't been able to determine whether or not this is event

A Mexican Funeral

2009-10-09T08:39:00.005-04:00

Me: "President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize!? What do you think about that, America?" America: "It's absurd! Look at our responses to this Washington Post poll!"Me: "Wow, looks like a pretty clear verdict. But...I think something's funny with the scale on that chart."Washington Post: "Don't worry, it's a non-scientific poll."Me: "Oh, you mean the kind where anybody can click the button on

"My name is my name!"

2009-07-21T20:12:00.004-04:00

The McGib-L**tch household has largely relied on eMusic as our source of new music for the past three and a half years. Their selection was often sorely lacking, but the price was right. When there was something we really wanted that was unavailable there, we'd buy overpriced, DRM-laden mp3s from iTunes. The system worked.eMusic recently struck a deal to start carrying Sony's back catalog, and

Bamboozled!

2009-07-01T23:47:00.010-04:00

Over the weekend I picked up the best thrift store t-shirt I'd found in a while. It said "Cure for the blues: Bill Clinton for President," or something like that. There was a giant, stylish cartoon of Slick Willie emblazoned across the front.I'm afraid of unwashed thrift store clothing, so I threw the shirt in with a load of laundry tonight before ever wearing it...and it fell apart, literally.

Baby's First Jaywalk

2009-06-17T23:46:00.003-04:00

In the interest of combating blog inertia, I will say a few quick things:1. To all the parents in my neighborhood who push their kids' strollers across the street while they clearly have a "DON'T WALK" sign: shame on you. Just...shame. (I really only wanted to be able to use this in a post title.)2. I watched The King of Kong, a documentary about guys playing Donkey Kong. It was pretty good,

Adventures in Public Transportation

2009-04-29T23:58:00.001-04:00

Here's something that I meant to write about back before the election.I don't make a habit of reading things that I expect to disagree with, but I think I should start doing more of it. It was for this general purpose that I started reading Atlas Shrugged a while back. (I have since given up on it.) Now, the problem with doing this kind of thing is that people make assumptions about you based

The Bachelorate

2009-03-05T20:18:00.010-05:00

Oh hey, is this thing on?I'm going to take a page from the book of one of my favorite bloggers. Thanks, Katie!!!!!Need a quick fix for dinner? Look no further. I present you with tonight's meal: peas and tater tots.Start by putting the frozen peas in a microwaveable container of your choice (this is all about customization). Add some water and microwave for a minute, stir, repeat. Add a

This happened in Vegas

2008-10-28T23:19:00.002-04:00

Oh man, I haven't updated this thing in a long time. What a crappy way to treat a fledgling blog! Sorry, blog. I'll find a way to make it up to you. I hear that lists are good for traffic:Nine Amusing-ish Things About My Week* in Las Vegas1) I've been in a classroom eight hours each day and have achieved a superficial understanding of discrete choice modeling, cluster analysis, and other fun

End Dorky Hipster Tees NOW

2008-09-09T15:09:00.007-04:00

I saw a guy in my neighborhood wearing a shirt that said this:Nice, man, you managed to inject nerdiness into a political message. And best of all, poor people won't even get it!What a dick!----------Edit: MBG's comment just made this post look especially anemic, so I'll continue this thought train here (woo WOO).I should clarify that I don't dislike hipster/ironic/silly-sloganed

Fashionable Headwear: A Four-Step Plan

2008-08-18T22:45:00.017-04:00

1:2:3:4:

He was a real pissant

2008-07-31T22:48:00.004-04:00

I was sitting on the toilet just now and saw an ant marching across my bathroom floor carrying an ant buddy's carcass. It got confused when it reached the rug and started wandering around in circles, trying to figure out how to continue the journey across the vast expanse of bathroom tiles.It was the saddest thing I've ever seen while moving my bowels.Touched by the ant's display of concern for

I liked this quote too

2008-07-31T22:44:00.002-04:00

A Chinese kid talking about censorship, from a New Yorker article:"Because we are in such a system, we are always asking ourselves whether we are brainwashed," he said. "We are always eager to get other information from different channels." Then he added, "But when you are in a so-called free system you never think about whether you are brainwashed."

Media Masochism

2008-07-31T10:54:00.003-04:00

Women who view ads featuring thin models are likely to come away with both a positive impression of the product being marketed and negative feelings about themselves, according to a study of 194 college-aged women. "The really interesting result we're seeing across multiple studies is that these thin models make women feel bad, but they like it," said a Villanova business professor.The

An Open Letter to DC Drivers, Cyclists & Pedestrians

2008-07-24T20:08:00.002-04:00

Everybody needs to just coooool out! Yesterday morning on my short walk to the Metro, I witnessed no fewer than four Irritable Commuter incidents: a guy on foot glaring and shaking his finger at a car that crept too far into the crosswalk; a helmetless bike rider coasting across the street when cars had right of way; and several cases of cars cutting each other off followed by angry honking from

I had the time of my life

2008-06-29T21:36:00.004-04:00

Saw Datarock play at the Rock & Roll Hotel last night. Holy cow. Maybe I just had the perfect equation of n beers + 1 Sparks and was at optimal buzz level, but I think that only explains my uncharacteristic audience participation, not my enjoyment of the sound. (Really though, how do you resist a Norwegian in a jumpsuit saying "ev-ree-bod-ee-clap-your-hands"?) Those drums sounded so crisp!

Let's not be friends

2008-06-16T13:35:00.004-04:00

I always thought Classmates.com was a good concept except for the obnoxious popup ads and the fact that it wasn't free. I never got into MySpace. But when Facebook started up in the spring of my senior year of college, I was a pretty enthusiastic early adopter. Few of my high school classmates were joining, though, so it was disappointing.Then Facebook opened up to everybody and more MySpace

Hearts Alive!

2008-05-27T12:28:00.002-04:00

I got this album the other day, which means I now own two Moby Dick concept albums. This latest one is German and is naturally the more ridiculous of the two. The other has a song called Hearts Alive, presumably inspired by a passage like this, of Stubb urging the men on in their pursuit of a whale:"Three cheers, men—all hearts alive! Easy, easy; don’t be in a hurry— don’t be in a hurry. Why

IT HAS BEGUN

2008-05-15T19:59:00.000-04:00

How are you supposed to introduce a blog, anyway? Shouldn't an inaugural post be entertaining and substantive?Yeah, well. Here is my contribution to the effluvium of the Internet. Get ready, America!The Internet is only in America, right?